Archive for 'Humor'
Why A Inexpensive Gag Gift Could Be The Best Gift You Have Ever Given Away
Posted on 27. Aug, 2009 by Ella Nyman.
Coming up with ideas for gifts can be very hard sometimes. Especially if it is for people you don’t know too well, so you have no idea of their interests and what they might consider practical and useful. In this situation many people would start looking for something that will appeal to themselves, which can be completely opposite from what the recipient might enjoy.
If you think about it, what you consider practical, is probably completely useless for somebody else. My grandma received a bunch of cooking stuff on her birthday from my mother, because they both like to cook. I too usually receive cookbooks and similar kitchen stuff from them on my birthday. Are cookbooks practical for me? Not really, unless you count that I give them away to other people on their birthdays.
In modern western society most adult people already own everything they might want or need. The only thing that remains are those that they cannot afford like a sports motorcycle, a trip around the world or a yacht. But those gifts are completely unrealistic for most of us.
So if we ruled out practical gifts, what is left? Gifts that invoke some kind of memory or positive emotion. This is why souvenirs are so popular even though they often are cheesy, pointless or even plain ugly. They invoke the memories from the trip. In the same way a nicely framed picture you got from your partner might invoke happiness every time you see it.
This is where the often overlooked gag gift or prank gift comes in. Happiness and laughter is the most positive emotion we can experience, and gag gifts are often designed just to make us laugh. Even if people wont remember the specific gift very long they will remember the feeling it invoked in them. The fun at a 50th birthday party might be remembered for the rest of this persons life, but will he remember all the junk he got? Probably not.
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Using the Top Techniques For Making Hilarious Prank Calls
Posted on 25. Aug, 2009 by Bryan Enderson.
Prank calling can be a very rewarding activity if you are skilled in the techniques of the call. While there are many who prank call “blindly” without much of an idea as to where they want the call to go, professional prank callers use the tools of the trade to create hilarious prank calls in nearly every attempt.
In order to be the best they can be, successful prank callers employ the prank call toolbox to get top results. Before I get into the toolbox extensively, I’d like to look at what separates the two different types of prank callers. The easiest way to characterize them is by their experience level with prank calling.
The first type of prank caller is the amateur. An amateur prank caller will typically make a haphazard decision to make a prank call. Being bored on a Friday night, they will pick up the phone with a friend and randomly call numbers or business pulling a juvenile prank and hanging up.
The second type of prank caller is more sophisticated. This prank caller will take a more deliberate approach. They will pre-plan who they are going to call and will use the prank callers toolbox to make the call go smoothly and timelessly.
So, if you are in the first camp. how do you move into the second camp? Here are three tips to making better prank calls.
Use the Technology
Because today’s phones come with caller ID, you need to take extra steps to safeguard your identity. It is no fun to prank call someone who immediately identifies you as a prank caller. In order to improve your prank calling, try using a call manipulator which will allow you to alter the way your information appears on their caller ID.
Vary Your Targets
One mistake people often make is to call one person again and again. This is a rookie mistake. Once someone outs you in the call it is not a good idea to keep calling them back. They are onto the joke and all you are really doing is harassing them.
Be Creative
The key to a good prank call is your imagination. Prank calling when inspired can lead to the best results. My advice is to use your imagination to prolong the call by taking your target around all the twists and turns of the joke before arriving at the punchline.
A prank caller is only as good as his discipline. So remember these tips when making your own prank calls. You might be surprised how much you can improve.
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Cherry Wood Floors – Show Off Your Home Office’s Stunning Looking Floors
Posted on 24. Aug, 2009 by Benjamin McLee.
Everyone loves the simple look of hardwood flooring. Many people in fact are remodeling their homes and installing Oak Wood Floor. There are many benefits that come along with using this specific grade of wood. If you are hardwood shopping right now, you may need to look closely at cherry wood flooring.
Before you start any sort of research or shopping you need to crunch some numbers. It is very important to take a seat and start looking at the amount that you can afford for new flooring. If you do not take this step you could be paying a lot more than you need to. Once you have your numbers figured out, you can start look into the wood aspect.
The quality of the cherry wood is going to be very important. The price of each type of wood will always depend on the grade of the wood. The higher the grade, the more expensive your wood is going to turn out to be. This is where it is always a good idea to find a good medium between high priced and low priced cherry wood. You can easily get the look and fee that you want for the right price.
Cherry wood flooring can easily be bought at your local hardware store. This is where all of the professionals are going to be. Find an hour or tow of your time to get down to the store. From there you can get a true sense of how great the cherry wood flooring is.
The next best place you should look for your cherry wood is the internet. There are so many online stores opening up right now, it should be easy to find the best deals. Make sure that you stop by an online flooring liquidator. This is going to be one of your best bets. These sites have some of the best prices when it comes to cherry wood. Most of the time the shipping will even be included! Make sure that you site that you choose has plenty of good reviews. Buying online can run you the risk of getting ripped off.
When you install your new Oak Hardwood Flooring you should be able to enjoy them for years and years. Those who do not take their time to install the wood correctly will run into many repairs. Simply buy the right materials and take your time. After that, you should not have to worry about any extra repairs.
It is very important that you take your time when you are shopping for cherry wood flooring. It is very easy to get carried away and buy either too much wood or the wrong wood. Make sure that you know how to spot fake wood; this skill will definitely come in handy when you are shopping online.
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Football Fever in Full Effect
Posted on 23. Aug, 2009 by Ted Rogal.
Following the events that took place the night of August 9, 2009 in Canton, Ohio it has come to light that an epidemic is spreading across the United States at an alarming rate. There is no known cure for this disease that has been described as a fever. Top health officials are in meetings but feel the outlook is bleak.
The disease has been temporarily labeled “Pigskin Fever”. Most of the symptoms are still unknown, but early signs of the disease include symptoms such as the painting of one’s face in team’s colors, loud noises, colored hair, and more.
According to leading health officials if affected an individual will need to spend Saturday, Sunday, Monday and the occasional Thursday watching as much football as possible to try and keep the fever under control. It has also been reported that this affliction affects men, women and children at an equal level.
Someone we know, who goes by the name of Bob, claimed that the illness struck him all at once, just when he least expected it. He had spent most of the summer months outside, catching a few baseball games and NASCAR races here and there. One day, while watching Sports Center, he caught a glimpse of a football training camp and everything went downhill from there.
Now, his neighbors are all on alert Aside from all of the ornaments he’s littered his front yard with, he found a neighbor carrying a crate of oranges to his door, tackled him, took the oranges, and ran them back to his house across the street before dancing in celebration.
The Center for Disease Control predicts this epidemic may spread at an alarming rate through the fall. Universities and big cities alike all seem to be prone to the symptoms.
It has also been announced by the Surgeon general that if you are not affected by this disease you should report immediately to your local mental health agency for psychiatric evaluation as it may not be safe for you to be a part of mainstream society.
Having said all that, football is back! I’m one happy man for it!
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Making the Best Prank Calls Every Time
Posted on 23. Aug, 2009 by Bryan Enderson.
Prank calling can be a very rewarding activity if you are skilled in the techniques of the call. While there are many who prank call “blindly” without much of an idea as to where they want the call to go, professional prank callers use the tools of the trade to create hilarious prank calls in nearly every attempt.
Before we examine the toolbox that a prank caller can use to achieve superior results. Let’s look at the two different types of prank callers that one might typically encounter. The two camps can most easily be categorized by their levels of expertise.
Our first category of prank caller is that of the amateur. This crank caller generally calls a few unsuspecting targets on a given Friday night without a plan and without a toolbox. This prank caller generally experiences less than desirable results.
The more refined version of the amateur prank caller is the less-common pro pranker. This caller generally unfurls a number of tools which he utilizes to make each call unfold in a hilarious manner. This prank caller, though once an amateur, has learned that prank calls can be much more enjoyable if the caller does their homework.
If you fall into the first category, but want to graduate into the second, what can you do? Follow these three guidelines for improving your prank calls.
Utilize Technology
Remember, that if you approach a prank call without a plan, it is not likely to go as you expected. Today, people can trace and use caller ID to identify a caller. Use a service to disguise and change your phone number information.
Target Many Victims
A common mistake is to call the same person multiple times. This is not a bright idea. Once a person has realized that they are being prank called it is better to move onto your next target rather than continue to call or even harass the same person.
Creativity Rules the Roost
Try to prank call only when you have a good idea for a punch line. Once you know what you want the outcome to be try to use your creativity to find the most circuitous route to get there. You will find that taking the long way to a pay off builds up tension and makes the humorous release more rewarding.
A prank caller is only as good as his discipline. So remember these tips when making your own prank calls. You might be surprised how much you can improve.
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Funny Basketball Team Names
Posted on 20. Aug, 2009 by Phil Adams.
Coming up with a team name is all about being yourself. Think of something and put your own comedic twist on it. Be random. The Gold Fish Bowlers for a bowling league is a perfect example and that just came right of the top of my head. I was looking around the room, saw the goldfish bowl and wala.
The next part of having a great team name again is creativity. Never use a team name that is out there. If you have seen it, others have as well and it will not be the ultra popular name you want it to be. For starters, never use the master batters because everyone has heard it. That name is also a bad choice because of its inappropriateness. The name that you choose reflects on yourself as well, so I would stay away from dirty names if I were you.
Now here is a list to help you get some ideas. I know that you have seen some of these before. They may have caught your eye and made you glance back at that basketball team name and ask, are you serious.
Like I just said, you are about to see a list of funny basketball team names, but these ones are not normal. They are great, I hope. And this is not any list, it is mammoth, vast, huge, titanic, and gargantuan. (cool word) I am not joking about it being big, but I would like it bigger, so if you could some how find a way to comment about it to add to it some great team names you have heard over the years that would be most excellent.
Unleash The Furry
The School Bus Drivers
The Four Skins
Technical Knockout Players of Talent
Players out of Talent
Wonderful Excellent Enormous Dudes
The Intentional Foulers
The Technical Foulders…
Basket Brawlers
The Wet Wedgies
Super Heroes in Training…..
The Extrema
Already Lost
We Lose
Control Freaks
Foodoo Doctors
Wii Not Fit
Smoking Tress and Stroking 3’s
Winged Beavers
Snapping Turtles
King Salmons
Wampus Cats
Wii Fat
The Three Basketeers
The Boston Three Party
The Three Amigos
Cunning Stunts
The Baseball Team
The Monkey Yummies
Lightning Zappers
Yahooligans
The Cereal Killers
Staying Yummy
The Fugitive Mangoes
Dazzling Stars
The Hot Dawgz
The Razzle Dazzle of Fantazzmanglers
Mighty Morphin
Ginyu Force
Mischievous Polar Bears
The Flying Monkeys
Athletic Hippies
The Flying Apes
The Bankers
Flying Bacons
Crazy Catz
Lunch Ladies
You Lead And Afflalo
P.S. If you have a sponsor you will not be able to use these great names. You will have to be the Culver’s team or what not. Way to give in to the corporate sponsors.
P.S.S. Never make basketball about the money. Play for fun. That is the reason you started playing so keep it up. If you are playing for any other reason you should rethink why you are playing.
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Prank Calling Like a Professional Jokester
Posted on 18. Aug, 2009 by Bryan Enderson.
Prank calling can be a very rewarding activity if you are skilled in the techniques of the call. While there are many who prank call “blindly” without much of an idea as to where they want the call to go, professional prank callers use the tools of the trade to create hilarious prank calls in nearly every attempt.
In order to be the best they can be, successful prank callers employ the prank call toolbox to get top results. Before I get into the toolbox extensively, I’d like to look at what separates the two different types of prank callers. The easiest way to characterize them is by their experience level with prank calling.
Our first category of prank caller is that of the amateur. This crank caller generally calls a few unsuspecting targets on a given Friday night without a plan and without a toolbox. This prank caller generally experiences less than desirable results.
The more refined version of the amateur prank caller is the less-common pro pranker. This caller generally unfurls a number of tools which he utilizes to make each call unfold in a hilarious manner. This prank caller, though once an amateur, has learned that prank calls can be much more enjoyable if the caller does their homework.
So, if you are in the first camp. how do you move into the second camp? Here are three tips to making better prank calls.
Use the Technology
We are in the 21st century. Cell phones are built with caller ID technology and phone number databases can trace your number. Use a prank call service to disguise your phone number so that your target will not be able to ascertain who the call is coming from.
Vary Your Targets
A common mistake is to call the same person multiple times. This is not a bright idea. Once a person has realized that they are being prank called it is better to move onto your next target rather than continue to call or even harass the same person.
Creativity Rules the Roost
Prank calling is best done when you are feeling inspired. Imagine where you want the call to end up (what the punchline will be) and use your imagination to take the most interesting and funny to route to end result you are searching for. Remember that the more creative you can be the more interesting the calls can be when they are played back (if you use your tool box to record them in the first place).
Keeping these three techniques in mind can help improve your prank calls dramatically. I believe that the only difference between an amateur and professional jokester is the discipline they use in crafting their prank calls.
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Fear of Funny: What Scares Us About Humor
Posted on 17. Aug, 2009 by Karyn Buxman.
Babies laugh, long before they can speak. Children laugh 300 times a day. But as we get old, as we age, something happens. We become more somber, more serious. We let go of the joy and laugh less — remarkably less. The average adult laughs 15 times a day — a 95% reduction from childhood’s more carefree
Where have the giggles gone? Did the chuckles canter away, leaving humor high and dry? Have our high-stress, high-tension lifestyles made it impossible to laugh? Some people think so. Yet these same people acknowledge that humor is one of the most affordable, accessible stress relief tools going. With that in mind, we have to ask: why aren’t adults laughing — even half as much as we used to when we were children?
Perhaps we don’t laugh because we’re afraid. Fear is a strong motivator for many people. We don’t touch the fire because we’re afraid of getting burned. We don’t say what we really think to the boss because we’re afraid of losing our jobs. And we don’t fling our bodies off of tall buildings with a bungee strap tangled around our ankles because we’re afraid of going SPLAT.
What are we afraid of when we don’t laugh? Here are the top three fears, things that make people hold in the laughs — even when they want to.
Fear of Being Unique: The hardest thing to do can be being the first person to laugh: laugh at a joke, laugh at a funny situation, laugh at frustrating circumstances. What if no one else laughs? The fear of being the only one laughing, the only one who has a perspective different from the rest of the group, silences many people who would otherwise laugh. Look at how many people join in the humor after someone else has ‘broken the ice’: they saw the humor in the situation as well, but were reluctant to laugh until someone else went first.
Concerns about professionalism plague many would be laughers. Our jobs dominate our lives: we spend far more time at work than we do with our families or friends. With our financial security dependent upon our work, and a dour economic picture, the need to laugh gets pushed off of center stage. Many people worry that the occasional giggle would destroy their professionalism.
I’m not a Mean Girl: Many people, particularly women, have been hurt by the use of humor. It’s easy to let biting, cutting sarcasm be used as a weapon — yet it is seldom appropriate. Humor can be uplifting and positive, lifting the spirits of everyone around you. Focus on the funny and forgo the insults and slights: you’ll see positive results immediately and you won’t have to worry about being seen as “mean”.
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New Epidemic Strikes the Nation
Posted on 16. Aug, 2009 by Blaine Michaels.
After a troubling turn of events in Canton, Ohio, on August 9th, authorities have reported the spread of a new epidemic around the country. While there is not yet any kind of cure, medical officials are calling this a fever.
The disease has been temporarily labeled “Pigskin Fever”. Most of the symptoms are still unknown, but early signs of the disease include symptoms such as the painting of one’s face in team’s colors, loud noises, colored hair, and more.
Those inflicted with the illness supposedly insist upon spending Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and once in a while, Thursday, spending as much time in front of the television as they possibly can while watching football in an effort to control their symptoms.
In an exclusive interview Bob Zoo had the following to say-” I was just sitting there Sunday night happy and content. My life was going well with Nascar on the weekends and MLB throughout the week when suddenly I clicked to my local NBC affiliate. The next thing I knew I was in a football jersey screaming like a banshee. The fake punt for a touchdown just launched me into oblivion. I can’t wait for more hits. When is the next game on?”
Bob’s neighbors, under condition of anonymity, have stated that they knew it would happen soon. “He has those team flags out and wears nothing but football jerseys and a helmet. If you can’t talk fantasy football then there is no sense in talking to him. Everything has become about football. Just yesterday Mr Jenkins, one of our elderly neighbors,was carrying a sack of potatoes under his arm and suddenly from nowhere comes Bob at full speed and he just blasted poor Mr.Jenkins. Potatoes went everywhere and all Bob could say was “We must protect this house.” It’s really scary for all of us for the next few months.”
The scary thing about this outbreak is that authorities predict it will continue to spread at a rapid pace through the rest of the year. The remedy, they say, is to fill a stadium with 100,000 or more people at universities around the country.
It has also been announced by the Surgeon general that if you are not affected by this disease you should report immediately to your local mental health agency for psychiatric evaluation as it may not be safe for you to be a part of mainstream society.
Well, football is back. It’s going to be another crazy year and I can’t wait!
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Basketball Funny Team Names
Posted on 14. Aug, 2009 by Phil Adams.
Great teams names are all about originality. Thinking up something yourself, and then putting your own twist of comedy on it. Being different is great. For example, I was just looking around the room and saw a goldfish bowl and thought of the goldfish bowlers. That would be a pretty good team name for a bowling league.
The next part of having a great team name again is creativity. Never use a team name that is out there. If you have seen it, others have as well and it will not be the ultra popular name you want it to be. For starters, never use the master batters because everyone has heard it. That name is also a bad choice because of its inappropriateness. The name that you choose reflects on yourself as well, so I would stay away from dirty names if I were you.
After I stop talking there will be a list of funny team names. Yes, I know this goes against the creativity rule, but lets face it, some of us are not creative. So in this list below you will find a team name that will make you laugh and you can use it. I have not copyrighted these.
Yes, here is going to be a list of those funny basketball names that add excitement to the game we all love to play. But this isn’t going to be just any list. The is going to be the biggest, largest, hugest, gigantic, massive, mammoth, colossal, titanic, vast, gargantuan, giant, very big list you might every see, or maybe not. I have to say that it is a decent size, but what would make it that substantial sized list is if you would leave a comment of a name you have heard over the years.
Unleash The Furry
The School Bus Drivers
The Four Skins
Technical Knockout Players of Talent
Players out of Talent
Wonderful Excellent Enormous Dudes
The Intentional Foulers
The Technical Foulders…
Basket Brawlers
The Wet Wedgies
Super Heroes in Training…..
The Extrema
Already Lost
We Lose
Control Freaks
Foodoo Doctors
Wii Not Fit
Smoking Tress and Stroking 3’s
Winged Beavers
Snapping Turtles
King Salmons
Wampus Cats
Wii Fat
The Three Basketeers
The Boston Three Party
The Three Amigos
Cunning Stunts
The Baseball Team
The Monkey Yummies
Lightning Zappers
Yahooligans
The Cereal Killers
Staying Yummy
The Fugitive Mangoes
Dazzling Stars
The Hot Dawgz
The Razzle Dazzle of Fantazzmanglers
Mighty Morphin
Ginyu Force
Mischievous Polar Bears
The Flying Monkeys
Athletic Hippies
The Flying Apes
The Bankers
Flying Bacons
Crazy Catz
Lunch Ladies
You Lead And Afflalo
P.S. If you are sponsored though, you will not be able to use these team names, but the payoff is worth it. Show me the money.
P.S.S. It should not be about the money. Play just to play the game. Enjoy it because you do not know when your playing will come to an end for some reason you do not see coming.
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